"Beth, can you see why Jon may feel that way?"
Beth's eyes turn to Jon, "Do you really think I feel that way, that I blame you for the murder of our daughter?"
"I do."
"If I truly blamed you, do you think I'd be sitting here trying to figure all of this out?"
"I'm not sure, but when I think about it, I think yeah, you blame me. Look at all the times you ran off. That kind of tells me that you were angry with me, needed to get away from me...."
Beth interrupts him, "or maybe to deal with all of the madness in my head."
Dr. Fishman leads forward, with a polite step in, "Madness, what do you mean Beth?"
She pauses for a moment, "In my head, I'm responsible for her death. I brought Dalton into my life and that set all of the madness, the hurt and terror in our lives."
He gives her a warm smile, "You know neither of you are responsible for McKenna's death. You are not responsible for other people's actions."
Beth repositions herself, trying to get the subject to change as she's feeling uncomfortable, "I know that but had i not refused Daltons advances, left him for Jon and hurt him, maybe he wouldn't have been so hellbent on destroying my life, killing my daughter. He and that bitch Melissa, along with Jon's former wife plotted this, planned it and carried it out." She continues to wipe the tears from her cheeks, "Yeah, Melissa killed her, but I don't think she was the mastermind, she wasn't smart enough."
"So you should have made a life with Dalton? Had you done that, you never would have had the joy that you had being McKenna's mother. Holding her in your arms, kissing her face, feeding her from your breast." The doctor asks her, pretty confident in what her answer may be.
Beth looks him in the eye, "would I have traded that? Being with Dalton to avoid the loss of my daughter?"
"I guess that could be the question."
Jon gets involved now, "That's assnine!"
"Here me out Jon." Dr. Fishman holds up a hand. "I think Beth is in a place where she thinks she should have bargained for a different outcome."
"I am not." Beth stands up and starts to pace the elegant New York office. "I'm certain that had I been more diligent on the care and safety of my daughter, shed be here with us today."
Dr Fishman gets up and walls toward Beth, Jon watching every move they make, hanging on every word. "But she's not here and you and Jon need to learn to push passed this, even though you think it's impossible."
"How?" Jon demands, getting to his feet. "How do we do that? We blame ourselves and maybe subconsciously each other. How can we do it?"
"Time and maybe a few more visits here to see me, but I think the first thing you need to do is maybe take some time away, alone together. Some place you can relax and just be husband and wife. Yes, you're a husband and wife with great losses and many obstacles, but you're a husband and wife that truly love one another. "
Both Jon and Beth pause, look at one another. Jon can see a smile wanting to creep up on Beth's face, "A vacation? We can't get away right now." Jon reminds Beth as he focuses his gaze upon Dr. Fishman. "Now is the worst time for that."
"Right now that's the only thing you can do. You two need to get away and reconnect. Get away and remember why you're here and why you're still fighting to be together after all you've been through."
"We're fighting because that's all we got." Beth boasts, trying to hide the fact that she's terrified of losing her husband and her family. "We fight because we know that we need to."
"Need?" Dr Fishman questions. "Need is a pretty strong word. You need to stay together?"
"Of course we do, we have a family together." Beth needs to remind the doctor.
Dr. Fishman moves in close to Beth, with his hand on her shoulder her tells her, "Many people co parent that aren't together anymore, Beth."
Jon feeling the doom of what a real separation from her would mean and it starts to make him anxious. "Do you think a vacation could help?" He drags his fingers through his hair, "Cause I'd take her to the moon if it would help." He plops down on the couch, not sure what to do anymore.
Dr. Fishman sits next to his exhausted and broken client, "You guys need to get back to you. Where you were when you fell in love, back before your tragedy, back before the bottom fell out of your world." He pauses, takes a cleansing breath and follows that with, "You need to see the woman that you fell in love with and she needs to see the man that used to sweep her off her feet."
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Jon and Beth leave their session with Dr. Fishman hand in hand, feeling raw and vulnerable. They know he's right about what he said, they know they should follow his advice. As far as they're concerned, he's never been wrong. Jon draws Beth closer, squeezing her hand and kissing the side of her head. "Beth, you have to know that I have never seen you as anything other than my wife, my best friend, my lover and my soul mate; even after everything you, everything we have been through. You have always, and I mean always been the most beautiful woman in the world. You're an amazing mother to our children and mine, and even though you piss me off, I can't imagine my life without you."
Beth stops walking, as they were on their way to the parking garage and looks in her husband eyes, "You have saved me many times, even during the times that I wanted to die. You have always been my rock. Jon, you're the love of my life and had I not met you, so much never would have happened. Our losses, our joys and most of all the twins. You have given me more than I ever could have hoped for in a husband, a mate and a best friend." On her tippy toes, she reaches up and kisses his chin, "Jon Francis, where shall we holiday?" Her smile reaches her eyes.
"YOU want to go away?" Jon can't believe what he's just heard. A few moments earlier, Beth acted as if a vacation was the last thing that she she would ever do, at this point. "I'm sure Pete will stay with the kids and I have no doubt your mother will love the opportunity to check in on them."
Jon tosses his head back and laughs, knowing what she's just said was true. "No doubt about mom, she's been chomping at the bit to take the kids away for a few days."
"We should let her." Beth walks into him, his lips land on her forehead. She stands there for a moment, absorbing the caresses she craved from her husband. His hands, slowly up and down her back, "Let's walk." She adds.
Together they walk from the therapists office, with no direction in mind. Both are in basic disguise with sunglasses, but it wasn't a concern. Not today. Together, at this very moment, they both have all that they need. Each other and the desire to get back to where they were - where they fell in love, all of those years ago. As far back as that night in the Las Vegas desert where they first felt, where they knew that they needed to be together, regardless of what was going to happen.
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1-11 down. Ty. More please?
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