Chapter 9 - Do We Got It, Again?

The ride into the city was silent.   Stuck in traffic with each other, Jon and Beth didn't feel the need to break the tension with small talk.  They are in a place, literally and in their marriage that small talk is just noise.  Beth can feel her husband looking at her.  She wonders what he's thinking but will wait for later to find out what his thoughts might have been.  She knows he's not happy and she can honestly say that she feels the same way. 

The skyscraper looked taller than it was, as Beth looked up at it.  She can't help but feel her size, due to its size.  She felt small, she felt insignificant as they entered the building on West 142nd st.  A place they have visited from time to time over the years, but as she made her way into the revolving door, she couldn't help but also feel that maybe they haven't visited enough.  Her pant suit felt stifling and she noticed her hand was sweating, as it clasped Jon's tightly.  She didn't like the way that it felt, but she couldn't let go.  Over the top of her Prada sunglasses she said to her husband, "I love you."

He looked to her and gave her hand a tug, pulling her into him, he chuckled, "I love you."  He leans over and kisses her forehead, "Babe, we're gonna be okay."

Beth rests her head on his shoulder and whispers, "I know.  I just feel like we're going to death row."

"It'll be over before you know it."  He reassures her, feeling the intense pressure that he's put on himself.  

The elevator to the 21st floor took what felt like an eternity, stopping along the way to take on and left off other passengers.  When the door opened on the 21st, the couple took their leave and walked down the long hallway to the office that they needed to go to.  After they checked in and waited for their turn, the receptionist told them, "Dr. Fishman will see you now."  And she escorts them to his office. 

After Jon and Beth get settled, one at each end of the couch, Dr Fishman makes his entrance.  He hugs Beth hello and shakes Jon's hand.  "Its been a while."  He jokes with his patients,  "I was thinking about you two the other day when I seen you in the news Jon.  How are things?"  He takes his seat in his psych chair, leather bound binder on his lap.  

"That's why were here doc."  Jon states as a matter of fact.  "We've come to a point where we think we may benefit from some outside help."  Beth sits there, her legs crossed at the ankles, her hands folded neatly in her lap.  She nods in agreement.

"What's been going on?" He asks them, jotting notes on his tablet.   "Has something happened?"

Jon and Beth look to one another.  Without looking away from his wife, Jon answers honestly, "She's over doing it and I don't like it."

Immediately Beth adds, "He's suffocating me and making me feel incompetent as a mother and a wife."

The doctor asks, "What's precipitated these actions?  Beth are you overdoing it and Jon are you suffocating her?"

Beth quickly fires, "He doesn't let me do anything, so how can I possibly be overdoing it?"  Her eyes go back to Jon.

"I don't suffocate her.  She's free to come and goes as she pleases."

"Always?"

"Yes, but what has her pissed off is that I make her take the nanny or she has to have additional security."

"Why is that?"  The good doctor asks.  "Why does she have to have a guard or a nanny with her?"

Jon leans back and kicks his foot up to rest on his knee.  The foot starts to shake, a sign that Beth has learned that means he's stressed.  "I don't want anything to happen to her, or my kids."

"Does she put them in dangerous situations?"

"No."

"Does she neglect the kids?"

"No."

Beth is watching the volley of conversation and is a little bored with them.  She just wants to get to the nitty gritty.

Dr. Fishman pauses, "okay, why the additional staff then?"

Jon fidgets a little, "Because I think she needs help, she can on some days have 6 kids pulling her in a million directions."

Beth jumps in here, "Four of them are pretty self sufficient and the 3 older ones are hardly ever home."

"The twins are ALOT to handle Beth."  She can hear Jon's words and they hurt just as much as his actions have, as of late.

"They're my children,  they are not too much to handle."  

Jon's posture changes just enough for Dr Fishman to notice.  "Jon, I seen your body language change as she said that, why?"

"She can handle them at home, but away from the house, I want her to have help if she needs it."

Beth can't bite her tongue any longer, "A while back, the kids and I flew out to see him for a show.  Just me and the kids.  We're not there but a few hours and he chartered a plane to have the nanny come to where we were, because he thinks I'm not capable."

Dr Fishman is surprised by that.  "Why did you do that Jon?  Does it have anything to do with the demons from your past?  The people or the things that have happened to you two, the tragedy and loss?"

"It has everything to do with that!" He snaps.  "Look,"  he takes a deep breath and takes her hand, "she's a beautiful woman that has a past.  A past that has almost destroyed me as a man and my family."

"She's not her past and you can't keep punishing her for it, and you can't keep her from her future."

"That's not what I'm doing."  

Beth continues to listen to them,  absorbing what they're saying.  It was after what Jon said that made a light go on in Beth's head, so she asks, "Are you trying to keep me from leaving again?"  Her eyes are locked on his.  She can see the brightness fade in his eyes.   Did she just expose him for what he was doing?  "Are you afraid that I'll run off and try to get rid of my past, deal with the demons I have?"

Jon answers her honestly, "I don't think so.  I'm trying to keep you safe."

"From who?"  Dr Fishman questions, continually taking notes.  "Who are you keeping her safe from?  Herself?  Outside sources?"

"I don't know.  I just don't want my wife to hurt ever again, like she has before."

Quite frankly Dr Fishman tells Jon, "No one could have saved her from that.   You both were hurt by that Jon, do you feel Beth is in protection mode for you?"

"I've never been the target.  And I could have protected her from that.  Extra security.  I could have vetted Melissa, I could have done so much more than I did."

"I could have too."  Beth slams her fist on the couch cushion, "I could have done more."

There's a moment of silence.  Jon and Beth keep their eyes fixed on Dr. Fishman.  When he starts to talk again he looks to Beth.  "You had two babies die in uertro and one was taken from you from an unstable woman.  You were raped and physically assaulted," he looks to Jon.  "Have either of you dealt with that?  Any of that?"

"Yeah."  Jon replies.

Beth looks at Jon.  Her eyes are burning so bad from the tears that are welling in her eyes.  She mumbles, "yeah, kind of."

Another silence.  This one makes Jon and Beth a little uncomfortable.  Dr Fishman knows what he's doing.  He's bringing up the worst things they've been through and now he's making them think about it.  In a room together.

Chapter 8 - Last Cigarette? ?

"Ya know Beth, I got better things to do than sit here and try to convince you why I did what I did was in the best interest of my family."  He drops his head, "So this is it.  Pete is here, she's going to stay and you're going to utilize her to the best of her ability."

"No I'm not."  she buffs, "She needs a life too Jon, outside of our kids."

"She has a life.  Don't you think I asked her, and asked her again, if she was okay with coming here?"  He can feel himself getting mad at having to explain himself to her. 

Pete has been with the family for many years.  She's been instrumental in the raising of the Bongiovi children, Jon,  Tony's and Matt's.   It would tear Jon apart if he thought he was hurting Lupetta or hindering her life in anyway.  Pete is often given,  sometimes ordered to take time off and away from the family - even though she's part of the family.   She's paid quite handsomely and has the life that many could only pray for.  "Jon, this really isn't about Pete.  It's about your inability to see that I'm capable of taking care of our children,  whether it be home or away "  She slams her hand on the table, wanting him to look at her.  To see the emotion on her face,  in here eyes.

He's done with this discussion, he knows it's only going to go in a circle, with no good outcome.  He knows he's pissed her off, he knows she feels betrayed, but he didn't care.  "Damn it Beth, this discussion is over.  She's here, she's staying and I have work to do.  Do you mind?"  He gives her a look and motions to the door.  "Go shopping, do whatever you're going to do, but take Pete with you."  She shoots him the stink eye and that makes him just a touch more upset.   "Would you rather I get you a plane home?"

Beth stands there staring at him, herself getting upset over his callousness about the situation.  She can see that he is in fact done with the conversation, but she's not.  She knows him well enough to know that he'll utter not another word about it.  She could go on and on, but to him, the subject is closed.  Needing Jon to know how belittled she feels, how betrayed his actions hurt her, she mumbles, "Yes.  Get me a plane, we're going home."

"Are you kidding me?" He jumps to his feet, throwing his pen across the table.  "I have a show in 3 hours and you want me to get you a plane?"

Hand on hip,  Beth states, "You offered.  Yes, I want to go home."

"You're being childish." He screams at her.  The veins on the side of his face expanding. 

"You're being an asshole."  She balks back at him.  "Don't do something behind my back and get upset that I'm upset.  Don't offer me something that has no merit Jon, you're being a total ass."

"You wanna go home?"  He asks her in a tone that says that her next word will be all but in concrete.  Her answer will be definite and she'll get exactly what she wants.

"I do."  She answers and holds her breath.

She watches his every move, every move deliberate and necessary.  She sees him take his phone off the table.  He enters his lock screen code and then he swipes.  Swipes some more.  When he finds who he was looking for, he makes a phone call.  Beth's posture softens and she leans against the conference table, her heart beats just a little faster.  She tries to figure out who he's calling.  She has no idea.

What she hears next will infuriate her even more, "My wife is being a child.  Please charter her a plane to get her ass back to Jersey."

A momentary silence.

"Yeah, she'll have the kids with her."

He ends the call.  As he does he looks over the table at her, "Your wish is my command."  The smirk follows.

"Fuck you!"  She screams at him and leaves the conference room.  She's so pissed,  she doesn't acknowledge Richie and Dave as they sit outside and wait.  They look at one another and know that going back into that meeting will not be good.

When Beth makes her way back to their suite, she greeted by Haley.  Her phone in his hand.   "Dad wants to talk to you."  Beth smiles at the handsome young man and winks.

"Thanks Jake."

Beth takes her phone and sees that it's a connected call.  To keep the kids and Pete from hearing their argument she takes her business into the bathroom.  With a deep breath, she says "what" into the phone. 

"You're really leaving?"  He blurts with attitude, Dave and Richie can hear it all. 

"We are."

"There's a plan for you at the airport.  Leave Pete and the kids here."

Beth sits on the toilet, crossing her legs.  "No.  I'm taking my kids home, where maybe, just maybe I can take care of them myself."

"God damn it Beth.  You flew them all of the way out here to see me, take your attitude and go, but leave the kids."

She's now beyond livid, finally seeing the writing on the wall.  "Pete can stay here and take care of our children alone, but I'm incapable?"  Her sarcasm gets snarkier as she continues, "That's a bunch of bullshit.  All of the kids are leaving with me, so in your desire to control every aspect of my life Jon, did you get a plane big enough for all of us?"

Jon sighs and stands, to do his ritualistic pacing, "Why don't you just stay, take the kids to the show tonight, you know they want to go."

"They've been to enough." She reminds him.  "We came out to surprise you and in the end, I get a slap on the face for doing it."

Jon is quiet for a moment.  Finally he conceeds to her irrational behavior, having better things to do than to coddle to his oldest child.   "Flight leaves at 6:30.  I have Dawn get you the info."  He ends the call.

Beth sits in the privacy of the bathroom, running the events through her mind, and it just gets her even more enraged.   Once she composes herself, she exits her privacy and joins her family.  She stands there and looks them over, one by one.  The twins are poking and swiping on their iPad.  Jesse and Jake are lost in their iPhones and Pete is sitting there wondering what will happen next. 

Once Beth has it all clear in their heads, she tells the kids, "okay, we need to get ready for dads show.  After that, we're getting on a plane and going home."

Jesse immediately asks, "What about shopping?"

Beth gives him a sullen smile and tells him, "We'll hit the city when we get home."

Beth can see the look on his face,  "I'm sorry Jess, I'll make it up to you. "

Chapter 7 - I Wanted More For You

"Can you sit down?" he clamly asks her, sliding a chair out with his foot, from under the table.

Chapter 6 - Have A Little Faith In Me

They had a wonderful morning together, the family eating breakfast with the crew and band that stayed at the hotel.  

Chapter 5 - Holding On To What We Got

The show couldn't end fast enough for Jon, knowing that his wife and family were waiting for him backstage.  Beth and the kids have been ushered backstage where they wait for the show to end.  They hear the applause and the cheering that slowly turns into foot stomping.  There is a security guard standing guard at Jon's dressing room door.  Beth can hear his radio, a voice in a slighlty panicked voice says, "JBJ has left the stage."   It was at that moment that the guard stood a little taller, knowing that within seconds Jon Bon Jovi would be walking through the door he was guarding.  Overhearing that, Beth's butterflies started to flutter.

"Kids, daddy's coming."  She says with a smile, watching Jon Spencer and Brianna play with her iPad, kicked back on daddy's traveling couch.  They went on about their business unaware of what their mother just said.  

As Jon walks down the hall backstage, he hears in his ear piece, "Momma bear and the cubs are in the den."  That told Jon that his family was safe and they were waiting for him.

Their reunion was loving, but quickly.  Her peppered the faces of the little ones with kisses, hugs and kisses for the older ones.  "What are you doing here?"  He asks his wife, holding her face in his hands.  "This is such a great surprise."

"That is what we're doing here.  We wanted to see you, so we thought we'd surprise you."

"Thank you." He smiles, his lips on hers.  "I wish you would have told me.  I need to get more security."  

"We'll be fine babe.  We'll leave the day after tomorrow."

"I leave tomorrow.' He states.

Beth smiles at him, "I can stay here without you."

"Not without guards."

"Jon!" She's feeling slightly kept.

He takes her hand and looks her in the eye.  "We can talk about this later, right now we have to leave.  My car is waiting"  He helps her wrangle the kids and get them to the door.  Beth can hear the crowd, she can see the hustle and bustle that's going on back stage.  She can see the look of 'right now' on Jon's face.  "Baby, I'm so happy you're here, but some notice would have been great."  He reaches out and grabs the guard at his door, "These guys go to the car, right now.  Tell Matt he can ride with Richie."  Jon diverts his attention back to the clan, "Kids, go with Mark.  He's going to put you in the car.  We'll be right there."  

The kids leave with Mark and Beth helps Jon gather his things.  She can sense that he's a little upset at the unplanned visit, but a part of her didn't care.  "Jon, I'm sorry."  She reaches down and starts to gather his computer and it's accessories.  "I thought this would be a nice surprise."

He's unbuttoned his sweat drenched jacket and then his shirt, hurriedly, "It's okay.  I just wasn't prepared."  He walks over and kisses her, "I'm sorry babe, just didn't plan for this."

"Do you want me to go home?"  She tucks his laptop into his messenger bag, along with his notepad, mouse pad and ink pens.  "We can do this another time."

He firmly shakes his head no.  "I'll figure this out, let's get to the hotel and we'll see what needs to happen."

Together they pack up what he takes with him on his person and they high tail it to the waiting car.  The fans are in full force and their exit is not an easy one.  Once they're all in the get away car, Jon can see that Brianna and Jon Spencer are a little shaken.  Their exposure to fans and their madness has been limited.  Their visits backstage were few and far between and their understanding of people banging on the car and screaming was no existent.  They were frightened.  He bangs on the glass that separated the driver from the passenger, "Can you get us out of here, right now!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The Bongiovi clan was safely delivered to their hotel.  Once they were in the presidential suite, Jon jumped in the shower while Beth tries to get the kids to wind down and into pajamas. Jesse and Jacob take Romeo into the adjoining bedroom and they do what boys do, after having to brush their teeth.  Jesse and Jacob get lost into their phone and Romeo finds a show that he likes on the television.

Beth has Jon Spencer and Brianna dressed for bed, she just needs to get them to brush their teeth, but daddy is in the bathroom.  So, she sits in the bed with them and reads them a book.  She's leaning back on the headboard, a toddler on each side.  They all are happy to be with daddy, especially Beth.  She's been mentally consumed by the dream that Jon had, the dream in which she committed suicide, killing Brian.

Jon emerges from the bathroom, wrapped in a towel.  Swirling a qtip in his ears, he can't help but smile at what he sees.  The love of his life laying their with a piece of his heart on each side - they are sound asleep.  Beth looks at her husband, eyeing him up and down.  "I've missed you."  She shoots him a coy little wink.

"I missed all of you.  I'm glad you're here."

"Are you?"

"I was a little taken back at first, but yeah babe, I'm glad you're all here."

"You said you're leaving tomorrow.  I thought St Louis was a 2 show stop."

He sits on the bed and fidgets with his babies.  "It was, but the venue overbooked, so we rescheduled the 2nd night."

"Where are you off to?" She doesn't remember his schedule.

"Tomorrow we go to Wichita."

"Can we join you?  The kids want to do some shopping before they go back to school."

Jon laughs, "of course you can, but there's a big press thing we need to do.  You can go shopping but I mean it Beth, you go no where without security.  I'll arrange it tomorrow."

She throws her head back, "Yes dear.  Go get some pants on so we can move these babies and climb into bed together."  She wanted nothing more than to climb into bed with him and have him hold her tight.

Chapter 4 - The Sky Is Torn

As she crams a pair of shoes into her carry on bag, Beth yells down the hallway, "Kids, hurry up - we gotta go."   

Chapter 3 - We'll Make It, I Swear

The Bongiovi family has a wonderful time in Seaside Heights, reconnecting as a family and for Jon and Beth, reconnecting as husband and wife.