Sunday, April 19, 2020

Chapter 35

The day ended up being quite peaceful.  The guest house is far enough away from the main house and it's on the other side of the garage, so it can't even be seen from the main house.  Jon and Beth, with all the kids except Jesse spent the day playing games and just chilling out. 

As it got towards evening, Jon whispers to Beth, leaning over to her on the couch, "I'm going to head to the studio a bit, do you mind?"  He kisses the side of her face, "Unless you want to go with me?"

Beth looks at him and thinks for a second, "What do you plan on doing there?  Are you going to be a long time?"  She wonders, only because if she went, she doesn't want to be stuck there all night.  "If it's a quick in and out, I'll go."  She melts onto him, kissing her favorite feature of his, his chin.  She continues, "But if you plan on staying for a while and need time there, I'll stay home."

"I can do either.  If you want to go, let's go."  his arms go around her and he holds her tightly.  "I can do in and out or I can stay there all night, but if you want to get out and go with me - let's do that."

Her tension leaves her body as he holds her, she loves how soothing his voice can be.  "Do you know what Pete is doing?  Is she back from church?"

"I haven't seen her, but Steph is here.  She can watch her brothers and her sister."

"Don't assume that Jon."  Beth nudges him with her elbow.  "She may have plans."

Reaching passed her to get to his cell phone, "I'll text her." he plays with her.

"Jon, seriously."  Beth smirks at him, "Get up and go ask her."

"A text will work, watch this."

Jon taps out a quick text to his daughter and then sets the phone on the back of the couch.  He settles back into his position of the loving husband and cuddles with his wife.  The little ones are watching a movie, kicked back on their bean bags, bowls of popcorn resting on their bellies.  The other two are  assumed in the game room doing what boys do when there is no schedule in place.  From the outside looking in, there isn't anything wrong in Beth's world - other than the ex wife just a few hundred feet away.


The run into the city was a pleasant one, as pleasant as N.Y.C. can be at 8 pm.  On their drive the two of them made good use of the free time and just talked.  Beth's hand on top of Jon's on the gear shift.  She's sitting sideways in her seat and can't help but soak up every detail of the face that's next to her.  The face of the man that she's loved so hard, the face of the man that's hard to love.  Loving him is expensive and she's seeing that.

"Why is Dorothea in our guest house?"  her tone flat, but alive enough for him to know that that question needs to be answered, honestly.

He looks over to her, "How do you want me to answer that?"

"Honestly."

With his eyes on the road, Beth can see his grimace, she feels his hand twitch under hers.  "I reacted to the tone in Stephanie's voice."  Was all he said.

Beth processed that for a moment and didn't like that it was just so blunt.  "She's panicked for far less and the end result has never been as strong as the solution to this problem."  She wiggles a little in her seat, but never loses contact with her husbands hand.  "Don't you think that this is a bit much, even for us?"  Her tone showing no empathy.  She's has never been empathetic when it comes to Dorothea.  Even from the very beginning.  Sure, the two women attempted to form some type of a relationship in the best interest of the children, but it never worked.  Neither woman was able to see the other for what they were worth.  "We've never stooped to this level of vulnerability, Jon.  Do you really think that this is a good idea?"

"What's the worst that can happen?  She has no one and she is the mother of my children."

"Now she's your house guest!"

"And....?" he asks a question that doesn't even need to be answered.

She takes her hand away from his in response to what he just said.  "And?  And?"  He can hear that she's getting upset.  "And what the hell, let's just invite our biggest ever problem into our safe space!  And.........fuck you, Jon."  She just reached her maximum capacity for the stuff that she tolerates and never should.  "You invited trouble into our house."

"I think you're over reacting."  He tries to place his hand on her leg and she quickly pushes him away.

"I think you are over reacting to her bullshit situation.  She can go to the Four Season, she can go to a homeless shelter for all I care.  She is NOT staying Jon."

Jon is mildly regretting asking her to come along for the ride.  He did not want to spend their evening doing now what they are doing.  Fighting.  "Did you want to come with me to give me a bunch of shit because of Dot?"  His anger level rising along with hers.

"Are you kidding me?  This is the 2nd to last thing that I want to do." she admits and that makes her angrier.  "Fighting about Dot, about her being at our home, it shouldn't even be happening.  She shouldn't be at our house, Jon.  Our HOME!"  

They hadn't quite made it to Interstate 95 on the Garden State Parkway when Jon decided he wasn't taking her attitude and this fight into the city.  It would be a waste of time and they would get nothing accomplished that way.  Jon takes the exit to get onto Highway 9 and finds a place to park.  He settles with the Walmart parking lot.  He slams the car into PARK and turns to her in his seat.  Upset.  "Look, what's done is done.  She's there for a couple of days.  We can do what you fear would happen, or we can just get through these couple of days and move on."  He made it sound like she had options, but she didn't.  "I'm sorry that I did this.  I'm sorry that you're mad at me but that doesn't change the fact that it happened.  Dorothea is at our house for a couple of days.  We can fight, like she's hoping we will or we can show her that we are strong enough to handle this."

"But I'm not!!!!" she admits with eyes burning from the tears that have started to well in her eyes. "Here we are AGAIN, fighting about something that shouldn't even be a THING in our lives.  We should not still be fighting about your ex-wife."    She has to look away, she can't let him see her fall weak again.  Her mind is in overdrive and her blood pressure matches, in her mind she thinks that this has to be yet another bad dream.  Another time that she wishes she could wake up from.

"We shouldn't be arguing about her, you're right.  So let's stop this shit right now and accept she's there for a couple of days."

"I can't do it." she mouses, opening the glove compartment searching for tissues.  "I thought I could, but I can't and I shouldn't have to."  She wipes away the tears, "We shouldn't."  Her gaze fixes upon some seagulls flying over trash in the parking lot, he thoughts she gets lost in. 

"What do you want me to do?" he quietly asks her, knowing the answer to his own question.  "Do you want me to send her packing?" He's certain that she is going to say yes, but instead, she says nothing.


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